Sep 14, 2009 - Jurnal    Comments Off

History World Tour-Bucharest…13 years! This is it…

La 13 ani de la cea mai frumoasa zi din existenta mea, ma uit la trailerul pentru concertele la care aveam sanse (bilete) sa il vad din nou live pe Michael…
Nu inteleg de ce nu e Michael in toate imaginile, probabil a avut si dublura, nu stiu, dar… e atat de vesel, plin de viata, zambeste tot timpul, traia din plin momentul revenirii acasa, adica pe scena…
Acum 13 ani intram in istorie… De multe ori ma gandesc daca intr-adevar chiar am fost acolo… Daca Michael chiar a trecut la cativa metri deasupra mea… A fost magie, deci misiune indeplinita pentru Michael :)
Contemporan cu Michael Jackson, prezent la unul din concertele sale…cartea mea de vizita, care pentru multi nu inseamna nimic, dar care pentru mine e …life.


Aug 11, 2009 - Jurnal    Comments Off

Michael Jackson` s diseases

Michael Jackson’s diseases
By Marina Constantinoiu
Translated by Loredana Potchides

Imagine a Moonwalk. Try to make it yourself at home on the slippery floor. You couldn’t do it but you got yourself a muscular fever? Try to imagine a Moonwalk with terrible joints pains. And think about Michael Jackson…
If Michael Jackson’s life wouldn’t had included the lies and rumors factory owned by the media maybe in this moment we would have known for sure which diseases the pop star suffered of. If we would trust in what Michael`s friends or ex-friends say, all of them, in the end, some profiteers of the star system, we would get nowhere.
Important are the opinions of the informed people that had the ’Michael Jackson file’ in their hands. Because, in his case, the illnesses which he really suffered of, as well as his agitated childhood, the exploitation that marked his first years of life, those of forming him as a person, are crucial. If what some doctors and acquaintances of the star sustained, that Michael was suffering from Vitiligo and Lupus, diseases in which the own organism starts to fight against itself, it’s true, then how much tragism marked the destiny of this man! This means that we all judged him extremely easy without understanding his problems!
The medical file is a heavy one, in the true meaning of the word. Putted together, all the physical and psychical transformations which he had been suffering from childhood till the fatidic day of June 25 2009, when The King of Pop withdrew from life, can become a medicine case. Only the ones who know what pain is, can understand it.

The rumors factory
There are so many things in the press about Michael these days that I wonder Internet haven’t failed yet. It was said he was addicted of painkillers, anesthesia, that his obsessions for his look led him to auto mutilation through numerous surgical interventions (at least 12 to the nose!), that he hated his origin and this is why he appealed to some methods of skin whitening still unrevealed by the classical medicine, that he was paying thousands of dollars for an army of doctors (how many of them impostors or profiteers only?) to be always with him, that he was using a lot of fake names to get the medicines recipes to which he became addicted of, etc, and these are only few of the sayings that runs in crazy speed on Internet or in the mass-media worldwide. I saw interviewed doctors who were ironically speaking about the Michael’s repeated operation of the nose. The pop star recognized only two surgical interventions to nose. I saw members of his family talking now about how many efforts they made to snatch him from the jaws of death brought by the medicines addiction. I heard all these after some years during which nobody from the Jackson family wasn’t talking about Michael. I heard so many opinions that I came to saturation.

The orphan diseases
You will laugh but I would ask all those who were mentioning about the repeated surgical interventions whose ‘victim’ Michael’s nose was, if they have ever heard of Lupus; if they know about the autoimmune diseases named by French ‘orphan diseases’. The name actually translates the ‘uncommon‘ character of these very little known illnesses ,wrong identified, with wrong diagnosis, with handicaps and invalidities often unrecognized. The name of the ‘orphan diseases’ claims, in the end, a political dimension: it translates the request coming from the ill people to give more attention to these diseases, to be aware of there gravity, whatever the challenge for the system of public healthy could they represent.
I would also ask the doctors who kept on coming on TV if they know what it means to walk from one hospital to another, with tens of pages of medical tests in your hand, with your body tortured by pain, but healthy apparently, searching for an explanation for the miserable state in which you find. Because in the autoimmune diseases’ case diagnosis it’s not at all a piece of cake, but always a hard job, when the disease is advanced.
Have it ever happened to you wake up in one ordinary morning with a strange look of your face, with a crooked nose, with terrible pains like it was crushed with a hammer? Or with your face full of reds spots, like just escaped from a fire? Have you ever remained blocked in a chair, with the pain killing your joints and making your legs worthless, just like that? Or simply to cannot open your house door, because the weight of the key and the opening move were too heavy for some blocked by pain fingers? These are signs and symptoms very frequent in many of the system illnesses. Of course, all those doctors from TV, famous being, is very few likely to not have met in their career patients complaining about symptoms from this category. There are over 1 million people suffering from Lupus in the USA. But have they ever thought for one second that Michael Jackson could have been one of those? Maybe he was later diagnosed. Maybe he was too embarrassed to talk about Lupus, like he did it about Vitiligo.
In the press’ attention
The international press discovers now, with wonder, two diseases; both of them autoimmune, both of them with very hard to calculate physical and psychical transformations. But the others, the ill people and their relatives, have been hardly administrating it for years and years. Even the famous New York Times found, in a full crisis of the worldwide written media, space for Lupus, writing about Michael Jackson.
I read on the specific forums the commentaries of those who know the torturing details of these illnesses. And, between lines, beside everybody’s personal experience, I discover exactly what was missing from the speeches of the doctors that make the press’ tour and who told their opinions about the star: the connection between his strange behavior and the disease. I wonder when will come, if it will ever come, the day to hear a specialist making the connection between Michael’s behavior of the last years, when the story of his skin bleaching begun, and the two diseases.
A special relation: doctor-patient
The day when, after exhausting medical examinations, some of them lasting maybe for years, after unsuccessful treatments and lack of hope, the ill persons find out that they are the ‘happy owners’ of a rare disease, autoimmune, is crucial in every ill person’s life. The hope that the one sitting in front of him is still a doctor from a long list of colleagues that passed through his life and didn’t find his diagnosis appears first.
When the ill person remains alone, convinced that his diagnosis this time is not wrong, the only hope remaining is the Internet. There the person looks for the symptoms, and till reading the scary list, he/she desperately gets to the treatment part. And only there, at that section, the reality strikes him: there is no heal. There is only amelioration. There are only three categories of treatment, all of them with side effects. There is a common ‘drug’, ‘the medicine’s heroin’, as Cortisone was named (at the searches made by the authorities in Michael Jackson’s home, after his death, Prednisone was also found, a immunosuppressant from the same class, used in the autoimmune diseases). Or, there are the cytostatics. And there is the pain.
Imagine a Moonwalk. Try to make it yourself at home on the slippery floor. You couldn’t do it but you got yourself a muscular fever? Try to imagine a Moonwalk with terrible joints pains. And think about Michael Jackson…
In most of the cases, the owners of these rare maladies, of system, are wondering why they have to be the chosen ones. The professor Howard S. Shapiro, from the USC School of Medicine Los Angeles, who analyzed the relation between the human temperament and the apparition of Lupus, says about the patients with this disease that they ‘seem to have a specific personality, even before being taken ill, which can be described as aiming with predilection to achievement, hyperactive, perfectionist, independent and self confident. These persons aim to be responsible, energetic, and, maybe the most often, always on top and use to control their own lives. The self respect depends of the fact of having control of all the things.’ When something shakes in all this construction, the immune system responds. Does this sound familiar to you? What Michael’s life really meant if not hyperactivity and perfection? Pushed even from childhood toward performance, Michael fascinated Fred Astaire himself, the famous dancer, choreographer, actor and singer. If there is anyone doubting about Michael Jackson’s artistic value, then he should read Fred Astaire’s words: ‘Oh my God! This boy moves exceptionally! He is the greatest dancer of the century! I didn’t want to leave this world without knowing my follower. Thank you, Michael!’
I don’t know how much desire of perfection the Michael-child had, I don’t know how much desire of achievement he had at 5 years old, I don’t know how high he wanted to get in the top. But we all know that there is at least one relative of him, the Joe father himself, who pushed him to all these. So Michael had the right profile, according to professor Shapiro’s description, to ‘attract’ the disease.

Eccentricities versus illness
If the French called them ‘orphan’ I would call them ‘pervert’. The autoimmune diseases put the patients, in many cases, in painful situations. They are apparently healthy, none can guess their sufferance. More, there are moments (sometimes days, sometimes months) of remission, when the disease stays hidden and lets you to go on with your life. And to go on with your concerts, with your ‘Moonwalk’, or to shrink your nose your relatives laughed about so many years, when you were little and you were delighting the public with your voice, in case that your name is Michael Jackson.
Some other times, the ‘Moonwalk’ can’t even be brought to discussion, furthermore, you need an umbrella to protect you from the sun, a mask on your face to hide the marks let by the illness, or the bodyguards to help you to step.
And what if the famous Michael’s white glove, that seems that will follow him in the grave, was, initially, an instrument of masking the skin’s problems caused by Vitiligo, or by Lupus, or by both? Some of his relatives say so. Remember these images? If they were symptoms of the disease, and not star eccentricities, then who pays for the media lynching at the king of pop’s address?
There are no ill people with identical symptoms. Every patient has his type of disease. The signs or the symptoms can suddenly appear or can develop slowly, can be moderate or severe, and can be temporary or permanent. The most of the people who have Lupus go through three episodes of aggravation of the signs and symptoms, which, finally, lose their intensity, allowing the improvement of the health condition or even the complete disappearance for a specific period (remission).
The systemic or erythematosus Lupus is a chronic cutaneous inflammatory disease that can affect numerous organs and especially the skin, the kidneys, the joints, the lungs and the nervous system. Its symptoms are extremely various. The ‘systemic’ term signifies the fact that the malady affects several organs. The ‘lupus’ term (‘wolf’ in Latin) makes reference to the characteristic aspect, in mask form, of the face’s affection. ’Erythematosus’ (‘red’, in Greek) it refers to the red color of the cutaneous eruption .When lupus it manifests only on the skin’s level, it’s about cutaneous erythematosus lupus. The lupus is more often met at the women being at the procreation age, between 15 and 45 years. But the disease can also affect the men (the cases are ten times rarer than at women) and the children, too. An extremely interesting thing: the lupus is present all over the world, but appears more often to some specific ethnicities, such as the color people (especially the ones from Anthills and the Afro-Americans) and the Asians.

The joints pains and the inflammation of some articulations are the most frequent initial signs of the disease. The pains, which in 90% of the cases affect the hand’s fingers and joints, are migratory and often symmetrical. The disease can cause the joints’ destruction. The muscles can sometimes become painful. The characteristic cutaneous form is the butterfly-shaped rash (malar rash) at the face’s level (cheeks and the nose’ base). These red spots disappear at the end of the phase. Other cutaneous eruptions appear sometimes on hands, elbows, on cleavage, going even to mouth, lips or nose’s ulcerations.
The skin becomes extremely sun sensitive and exposure can provoke a cutaneous eruption, a fact that would explain the protection of Michael’s face from the sun’s rays. When the sun affects the skin, the discoid lupus can appear, a cutaneous lesion that appears on face, ears, chest or arms. There was a lot of talking, these days, about the fact that Michael Jackson was partially bald. Well, a loss of the hair on compact areas, alopecia, can produce in some cases of lupus!
The inflammation of the pericardium, which translates in thoracic pains, is frequently and often repetitive in 30% of the lupus cases. The heart’s valves can be also affected. The malady can also provoke a disturbance of the cardiac rhythm, arythmia. The rare cases of myocarditis, a disturbance of the heart’s muscle provoking cardiac insufficiency that can be translated through asphyxia and a blocking sensation at the thorax’s level. To all these symptoms it adds the fatigue, the fever, the weight’s loss or gain, the blue aspect of the fingers or only of the fingers’ tips (remember the adhesive band on Michael’s fingers?) when they are exposed to could or during some stressing periods, the dry eyes sensation, and not at least, anxiety, depression and memory lose.

From pain to overdose
Not any ill person gets to Xanax and to Demerol, of course. But some of them can do it. And if Michael Jackson was one of the victims of these diseases, but of the star system too, how the media lynching at what he was exposed to, can be measured? To have to administrate two autoimmune maladies, both with serious consequences upon the psychic, it is too much even for a megastar. From the terrible articulations pains to the disease’s dissemination, to the kidneys or heart’s affection, to the despair that the disease will ruin your career there is only one step, and sometimes it passes through a long line of medicines. Painkillers. Some of them give addiction. To some other of them you became immune. The more intense the pain is, the biggest the desire to end it is and the painkillers are stronger. When you are Michael Jackson and you have to bring a huge entertainment industry on your shoulders, when you were programmed to delight the world, when on your body, never a packet of muscles, hundreds of profiteers stick, the limit between the normality in administration of a disease and overdose is tiny.

‘The rumors about Michael Jackson are running free. One sustains that the nanny, or whoever she is, Grace Rwaramba, has Lupus and fights by herself with the disease. Not her is the ill one, but Michael Jackson himself, state some close sources of the pop star’, Fox News announced in 2003. In October 2003, Michael Jackson takes part at the Evening of Love, Light and Laughter, event organized by Lupus LA and Lupus Research in Beverly Hills, California. The photos agencies immortalized images with the guest Jackson.
Other news, dating from October 2007, announces that Michael Jackson suffers from Lupus. In August 2008, on website, at the ‘Celebrities with Lupus’, Michael Jackson was present.
On June 29, 2009, only few days after the megastar’s death, doctor Deepak Chopra, an old friend of Michael Jackson, said, quoted by UPI, that the pop star was suffering of Lupus and Vitiligo, and he was also a known user of medication against the strong pains. Chopra declared that, many times, the children who were physically or verbally abused can develop later autoimmune diseases, including Lupus. ‘Michael was never sexually abused but, as himself said, was verbally and physically traumatized in childhood, a thing that affected him very much’, Chopra said.
Chopra also talked about the strong depigmentation of the star’s skin, about OxyContin, Vicodin and Demerol, strong medications that followed Michael Jackson at his maturity, and about the sufferance created by all the press’ articles, according to which he bleached his skin, in order to not be considered an Afro-American singer. To these statements of Chopra, the ones of the artist’s dermatologist, doctor Arnie Klein added. He told for ‘Larry King Live’, at CNN, about the sufferance caused to the star by Lupus and Vitiligo, about the use of Diprivan, to be able to sleep, about the tones of makeup he used to mask the imperfections created by illnesses, about the attempt to extend the parts of affected and whitened by Vitiligo, because even the makeup could not manage the masking anymore.
According to the Lupus Foundation of America, at least 1.5 million Americans have Lupus and about 5 million from all over the world suffer of this malady. But, Robert Lahita, professor of medicine at Mount Sinai Medical School, who wrote numerous books about Lupus and other autoimmune maladies, said, for ‘Good Morning America’, from ABC, that even what is known about other clinical manifestations of Jackson could indicate Lupus. ‘He had a form of skin’s Lupus, called Discoid Lupus, that effects about 40% of the patients with Lupus’, Lahita said, adding that this situation could led to the skin’s depigmentation, among other manifestations.
‘Michael Jackson made public the fact that he had Vitiligo and spots on his skin’, Lahita said, with reference to the well-known interview given by Michael to the not less famous TV talk show host Oprah Winfrey. This explains the fact that the singer could sometimes been seen with an umbrella, to protect himself from the sun, a thing that is recommended to the patients with this kind of maladies, the specialist explained.
Vitiligo, a disease that Michael was also suffering of, which translates through the so much commented skin’s depigmentation, it is a autoimmune disease, too. Coincidence or not, Vitiligo and Lupus are often diagnosed at the same patient, the specialists explain. So to speak, it would not be unusually to find out that Michael Jackson was suffering of both maladies. And, if the investigation about his death will show this fact, if at this investigation will take part not only the forensic doctors and police men and someone will have the idea to make a connection between the information of the Michael Jackson’s huge medical file, then maybe we will see with different eyes the lyrics of the Morphine song and we’ll understand better the ones of the Childhood song. Or, we’ll finally understand what meant for Michael the fight ‘To make my father proud’. Music and lyrics signed by Michael Jackson.

Drugs abuse
The people abusing medicines obtained with medical recipe do often excesses, thinking that, if the medicines were prescribed by doctor and with the Health Minister’s approval, it is all right. Only in US, in 2005, the medical use of the painkillers contributed to the death of 8.500 persons. The use of all kind of pills, with other intention than the medical ones, is more frequently met at adults with ages between 18 and 25 years, according to a study of the Office of National Drug Control Policy USA. The persons who take drugs to calm their pains can become addicted.
Generally, the people’s tendency is to deny the fact that they have a problem and often they don’t understand how dangerous their behavior is, and especially the fact that the drug abuse is as dangerous as the drug consume, the studies shows. ‘It is naïve to think that the medicines are safer. The truth is that the medication regarding the painkillers is from the same class with the heroin, the morphine – they give a very big addiction’, says Marvin Seppala, chief-doctor at Hazelden, a centre of disintoxication and recovery from USA.

Click pe Can Can-ul intelectual romanesc

Recunosc ca nu ma pot adapta la celalalt, ca nu pot sa ma pliez pe mentalitatea celuilalt, si nici cu ignoranta nu stau prea bine.
Nu, nu este un discurs care sa releveze superioritatea mea. Nu ma consider vreo desteapta a pamantului, ca daca eram poate reuseam in viata (ce-o mai fi insemnand si asta..). Vreau doar sa constat cat de diferiti suntem, uneori atat de diferiti ca mi-e foarte greu sa inteleg…
Ma duceam ieri, intinsa ca pisica la panda, la standul de presa si carte din Real, dupa Jurnalul National cu photobookul cu Michael Jackson. Cat am stationat acolo cu iubitul din dotare, sa vedem prin ce reviste a aparut MJ, cate exemplare sa luam din JN, ce carti mai sunt, au venit la stand cateva persoane, in special de sex feminin. Tinta? Can Can si Click. Se luau atat de firesc, ca o actiune obisnuita facuta des. Nimic altceva, nu carti, nu reviste, nu alt gen de presa. Tabloidele, scandalul, barfa, ieftinisme. Nu necesita investitie intelectuala, nici financiara. Si nici nu pierzi timpul sa citesti reviewsurile de pe spatele cartilor. Lectura ieftina. Foarte ieftina. Si atunci ce pretentii sa ai? Cum sa ii ceri unui astfel de cititor sa nu mai imbogateasca patronii trusturilor de presa si media in general, care isi scot banii cu cacaturi? Cu ce drept? Romanul vrea scandal, cumpara scandal. Am bagat in cos si Saptamana Financiara cu cartulia aferenta si ne-am retras, inainte de a ne face de rusine cu preferintele noastre… “Carti? E scumpe bre si nu avem noi timp de citit chestii din astea complicate”. Pai cu banii dati pe tabloiduri pe o luna, iti iei o carte. Sau te duci la film. Sau la teatru. Sau ii donezi. Dar nu, viata fara entertainmentul ieftin, de dugheana, e sec. Cine is io sa judec? In fond, nu putem fi la fel. Dar macar am putea incerca sa ne schimbam mentalitatea. Ca mult am ramas in urma… Si tot in jos ne indreptam…

Azi, o farmacista trecuta de varsta a doua, iese din farmacie, vede in usa un pahar de unica folosinta adus de vantul care se intetise si…da in el cu piciorul, iar si iar, ajunge cu el aproape de noi, apoi da in el pana il azvarla in strada, departe de farmacie. Tomberonul era in dreapta ei, imediat ce iesi din farmacie. Daca tot nu l-a pus ea in usa de ce sa nu il dea mai departe, nu? Ca doar strada e lunga, duca-se! Si asta venind de la o purtatoare de halat alb, care are grija de sanatatea ta. Ce sa mai cred? A, da, suntem atat de diferiti…

Jul 30, 2009 - Jurnal    4 Comments

Plimbare in Parcul Romanescu

Superba vreme si companie, liniste, dar lipsind cineva pe care il cauti in fiecare frunza sau adiere de vant…

O catelusa foarte frumoasa si lipicioasa s-a plimbat cu noi prin tot parcul, nu a vrut sa ne abandoneze nicio clipa, foarte atenta si vigilenta si mai ales foarte mare iubitoare de veverite pe care le urmarea si fugarea. Din cauza ei nu am reusit sa pozez nicio veveritache :) La finalul plimbarii s-a inalnit cu niste prieteni mai vechi, umani si patrupezi, am aflat ca o cheama Fulguta si ca a avut norocul sa se ocupe niste oameni draguti de ea.

Un mini parc pentru copii…

Poza facuta de pe pod in timp ce niste ‘barbati adevarati’ se uitau de jos sub fusta mea. Saracii, lipsa mare in ambele capete :))

Ruinele unui castel foarte vechi

Niste lebede si berze aflate la ora de ciugulit pene :)

Un mini parc zoo…

Fulguta a vorbit ceva cu magarusul, nu stim ce, secretul lor :)

Si o lama foarte frumoasa:

Jul 26, 2009 - Jurnal    2 Comments

Pentru Cris, care are o problema

draga pentru a-ti elucida enigma existentiala, am sa-ti raspund la intrebare: 1-pentru ca e blogul meu personal si pun ce poze vreau eu.
2-pentru ca eu nu ma consider nici batrana, nici complexata si nici frustrata cum vag sesizez ca sunt sunt unii care sufera de bagarea in seama. Nu dau nume, dar am pus mailul.
Acum sper ca viata ta e cu mult mai frumoasa si bogata spiritual.Ah, si apropos de viata: vezi ca e foarte scurta si efemera, traieste-o pe a ta, nu ti-o irosi cu funduri batrane!
Si daca tot nu iti place curul meu batran si de profa porno (nu stiu sa existe profesia asta, dar vad ca tu stii mai bine), atunci nu mai da pe aici! Valea!!!!! Ca doar nu vrei sa te intorci in locuri care nu iti plac. Si nu ma refer la curul meu!